#writetip: how to talk about your unfinished novel

“So what kind of novel are you writing?”

Over the course of writing your novel you will be faced with this question many times. Through politeness, friends and colleagues will take interest in this endeavor you have taken on. To them, saying you are “writing a novel” is akin to saying you are “building a boat”.

Most likely your friends and colleagues will have had no direct connection with anyone who has built a boat or written a novel. To them you are undertaking a ‘novelty challenge’. It makes no sense to write a novel (or build a ship) when there are plenty at hand (or at mooring). Hence you become a curiosity, and the question is asked “What kind of novel are you writing?”

This is a difficult question to answer.

A novel is the end product of writing. You do not “write a novel”. You either “have a novel” or you have pages of words. One does not pick up a cucumber and say they have a salad.

Once you realise this distinction, questions about novels become meaningless. You have no novel. You have pages, but so does papier-mache, and no one ever called a wad of glue soaked pages a novel.

This is why you feel such discomfort with the question “What kind of novel are you writing”.

Maybe one day these pages will become a novel. Or maybe they’ll just be soaked in glue to make a pinata for kids to smack with a stick. You never know.

That said, none of your friends know about this. To them, you will finish your novel. They will probably never read it, but if you say you are going to write a novel, they will believe it until you fail. And they will ask you about it. Prepare yourself.

So given this, how do you handle the question: “What kind of novel are you writing?” Well, here are some options based on my own experience:

“Well it’s not a novel yet”

Translation: I don’t think I can write a novel.

“So it starts off with this guy see, and he is trying to find something, at this stage I’m not sure what, but there’s a murder and probably some kind of twist…”

Blah blah blah. Am I boring you?

“It’s a thriller”

I don’t have an ending.

“It’s about life”

I don’t have a beginning.

“It’s got a little bit of everything”

It’s all over the place.

“I don’t know what it’s about yet”

It’s crap.

“Do you know that book The Shipping News? No? Well it’s kinda like that.”

I’m out of ideas.

The truth is, there is only one way to appropriately answer this question:

“Hopefully a good one.”

This is the safest and probably the most accurate way you can describe your unfinished novel. There is no untruth in this answer, and plenty of room for failure. You are being modest about your chances and your friend/colleague will ultimately respect you for this.

I can tell you that I have never answered this question correctly. I have prepared and practiced the standard line and it never seems to ring true to what it feels like to be chin deep in a long term writing project.

Perhaps then it is best not to talk about it at all. Surprise friends with a novel after 2 years (or more) of absence. Better yet, tell them to read your blog.

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